January 3, 2014


En route to my parents' house on the central coast, we take a steep road uphill, where the road curves sharply to the right. A telegraph pole stands right to the left of the bend, and different messages are inevitably posted on the pole every time we visit.

Happy 18th Birthday Jimmy! it might read, or

Congrats on your wedding, Tammy Sue & Frederico! (okay, so perhaps not those exact names), or

50 days without Crack Cocaine! WAY TO GO Norm! (No. I have not actually seen that particular sign, but you get the idea.)

Usually the signs are fairly simply. Jimmy is 18. Tammy Sue and Fred are getting married. Norm is sober. Nothing mysterious.

But this time, the sign really caught our imagination.

For some reason, the kids and I were absolutely fascinated. Who was Billygoat Lolgans? we wondered. Where had he been? And why were his loved ones misspelling 'misses'?
Every time we drove up or down that road (which was several times, because it leads to practically everywhere), we passed the sign. And every time, we read it out. By the end of our two week stay on the coast, we were chanting it together, with a Peter Sellers-type accent.
"Welcome Home BEEELIE GOAT LOLGANS!" we sang. "Meeeeeeeces to peeeeeeeces!"
We speculated endlessly on the source of the name. Surely no-one was actually called 'Billygoat', so presumably the 'goat' was a nickname for a dude called Billy. And was Billy originally Bill or was it William? As for his surname... well... Logans made sense, but Lolgans was far less common. Was Billy really William Lolgans, or was he William Logans, a bloke so funny that his mates had inserted an LOL into his name?
We became obsessed. We needed to know who Billygoat was. We needed to know where he had been and where he was going. We needed to know about his goat and his friends.
A search of the White Pages proved fruitless. No Logans. No Lolgans. And no billygoats.
So I turn to you, my internet friends.
Can you help me solve the mystery?
Does anyone know who Billygoat is? Do you know who meeced him to pieces??? Was it you? Was it someone you know? Do you have a goat? Is his name Frederico?


  1. Well I do live on the Central Coast ... but alas I know nothing of Billygoat Lolgans ... but NOW I want to know ... BADLY!!
    I'll stay tuned ... good luck on your quest :)

  2. Jo @ BabbleOn City blogJanuary 3, 2014 at 11:52 AM

    I'm pretty sure that "Meeces to Pieces" is a from the late 50s / early 60s Hanna-Barbera cartoon "Pixie and Dixie & Mr Jinks" ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZGkYW4b5I0
    As for Billygoat Lolgans ... I know nothing, sorry.
    Keep us posted though. This is fascinating stuff xx

  3. Jo has the "meeces" bit, was something like "I hate those meeces to pieces!!" But as for the other bit, I got nothin'!!

  4. You're on the coast and you DON'T KNOW BILLYGOAT???
    Oh this is bad. VERY bad......!

  5. HA! You are a STAR. The puzzle pieces are falling into place...

  6. So do you think Billygoat could be a CAT???

  7. Intriguing. Totally and utterly intriguing. And that is all I have, sorry.

  8. Hahaha now I want to know too!!! :)

  9. Billygoat Lolgans was a local farmer who turned his attention to raising alpacas after a rather unfruitful - and painful - venture with baby camels.
    Having lost a substantial part of his left earlobe following a feeding frenzy when the aforementioned baby camels took issue with a lack of pink sugar puffs in their breakfast cereal, he traded these ungrateful creatures for a pack of pint-sized alpacas under the misguided rue that they were - so he believed - far more placid and amiable creatures.
    Alas no.
    They turned out to be gremlins in disguise. When affected by tropical rainstorms (which occur with some frequency on the central coast) they mutate in to rampant four-legged spitting monsters who would position themselves outside his back door baying for umbrellas, cocktails and a life-size poster of Gary Barlow to placate their sorrow at having to live in such spartan conditions. It is a shameful existence. Especially for the baby camels who now reside in Slough (Berkshire, UK) in the local FedEx depot.
    Billygoat Lolgans has never been quite the same, much to the concern of his close friends (the Ewes family and the lesser know Dagg tribe) who - having failed to pursue their own education beyond the fifth grade - frequently post messages along roadsides to convey their feelings.
    Given their poor aptitude for spelling, their attempts to assuage Billygoat with slogans about 'missing him to pieces' are frequently misunderstood.
    It does, however, provide priceless entertainment for the rest of the passing population.

    You're welcome.
    LCM x

  10. I am ON THE FLOOR laughing. You are hilarious. And they mystery is solved!!!!! x

  11. Reading this, I had no idea who Billygoat was, but thank goodness for LCM, eh? Entertaining!

    I did want to, however, share a sighting of one of those electronic, flashing signs on a drive up to Qld a few years ago - you know the ones that usually advise of traffic/roadwork issues ahead, etc? Well, one time we spotted one and it said - I kid you, not - 'EAT POO'.

    SO funny. I bet some child of the council worker who was supposed to change the sign got hold of the controls.

  12. OH MY GOD. The kids and I had a huge laugh over that. Brilliant. Just BRILLIANT x


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