January 12, 2014

Bye Bye

So let me tell you about my ideal holiday.

I am picked up by a chauffeured limousine and driven to the airport in air-conditioned comfort. I board my flight and am shown to my first class seat where I enjoy a gourmet cheeseburger and chips whilst watching brand new episodes of The Big Bang Theory and some new movie starring absolutely everyone.

And then I land in a stunning resort, where I sit by the pool reading magazines improving books whilst sipping strawberry daiquiris and having my feet massaged.

Well, tomorrow I am setting off on holidays, and whilst it's not quite the ideal, it will come pretty damn close. There will be no chauffeur driven limousine, but hopefully a taxi driver will arrive on time and get us to the airport before the gates close. There will be no first class tickets, but rather a very, very basic Jetstar flight, which means no food at all, and possibly no TV screen either.

But there will be a resort. A Thai resort. With a kids' club, and a pool, and an endless buffet, and a big bed in an air conditioned room. And I shall sit by the pool reading my magazines improving books, and I shall graze at the buffet, and sleep till noon in the bed, and offer my children a dollar an hour to massage my feet.

It will be heaven.

So for now, this blog is going on holidays. I full expect to be back on board in a couple of weeks, but if I'm not, rest assured that I am safe and happy, having moved permanently to Thailand, where I shall earn my keep by writing blog posts for the locals, entertaining tourists with my famous interpretive dances, and hiring out my children for a dollar per hour to massage people's feet.

Or, of course, I could have expired from hunger, boredom and fear on the very, very basic Jetstar flight. In which case I bequeath this blog to Lana Hirschowitz and I bid you all farewell.




21 comments:

  1. Enjoy, wishing you all safe and fun travels.

    ReplyDelete
  2. *waves goodbye - tries not to sob*

    ReplyDelete
  3. Bon voyagee :) Have a lovely time.
    It is not hard to see why my Dad keeps threatening to move to Bali...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Have fun lovely. Pack accessories.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Enjoy! May there be many bubbles on your flight. x

    ReplyDelete
  6. It's Jetstar. I'm unlikely to get orange juice :-) xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh JJ. We will always have that moment on Twitter.....

    ReplyDelete
  8. AWESOME! Then you'll have free holiday accommodation!

    ReplyDelete
  9. *wipes tears away - tries to be brave*

    ReplyDelete
  10. Have a fab time, despite the Jetstar flight, and don't worry about bequeathing your blog to Lana, I already subscribe [as do probably all the rest of your fans :)]

    ReplyDelete
  11. Despite no personal jet it does sound a most beguiling holiday. Enjoy the pampering...err self-improvement. Bon voyage!

    ReplyDelete
  12. You are right. What was I thinking? Unless you do what the last lady I sat next to on a Jetstar flight did. She snuck onboard her own bottle of wine (corked, not screwtop) and her own GLASS! Someone in security was snoozing that day...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Have a wonderful holiday Kerri!!!! May you return brimming with inspiration for another year of entertaining blog posts, Tweets and books!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Enjoy the holidays! See you on the other side...refreshed and relaxed from all those massages... :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Have wonderful time xxx

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thanks for sharing this great piece of information. Do keep us update with some more great information.....chauffeur driven limousines

    ReplyDelete
  17. Enjoy your holiday xo I hope you do nothing.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Have an amazing time. I know you will. Just come back k?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Enjoy your holiday Kerri, rest, relax and recuperate...

    ReplyDelete

Thanks! Love hearing from you.

Like it? Share it!