January 20, 2012

On The Set Of Modern Family

A strange thing happened after I met Simon Baker. I lost my awe of celebrities. It wasn't that I become jaded or world weary, it's just that, well, I had peaked. I had met my Celebrity Crush, my personal Mr Perfect, my owen Impossible Man, my He Who I Never Thought I'd Meet...

Okay, so maybe enough with the monikers.

My point is this: by the time my family and I visited the set of Modern Family the following week - one of my absolute favorite TV shows (along with Mad Men, 30 Rock and Young Talent Time) - I wasn't nervous at all. Excited, but not nervous. And I liked not feeling nervous. I was, like, totally Hollywood.

We were visiting Modern Family because our friend Michael is one of the directors of the show. (An Emmy winning director, mind you, and my god that statue is heavy).
Me with Mi(chael)'s Emmy
As we drove to Fox to meet him, the kids and my husband and I wondered who we'd get to see.

"Are we going to meet Sofia Vergara's breasts?" The Architect enquired.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"Are we meeting Sofia Vergara? The one who plays Gloria?"

"You asked if we were meeting her breasts!"

My husband rolled his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous. So are we or not?"


"Meeting her breasts?"


We arrived at the lot at 10am and were greeted by Rachael, the delightful production assistant assigned to shlep us around in a golf buggy and fetch us donuts whenever we were hungry.

And just in case you didn't read that the first time, we had a production assistant assigned to shlep us around the lot in a golf buggy and fetch us donuts whenever we were hungry. I may be comfortable around celebrities now, but my god that gave me a thrill.

We were shown onto the Modern Family set, and it looked exactly like it did on TV, which probably shouldn't have come as a surprise to someone as Hollywood as me. Though the rooms had no ceilings, they were completely enclosed, with four walls and doors and furniture. We posed for photos on the iconic couches in which the characters are 'interviewed', and examined the contents of the prop fridges and cupboards. My son was delighted to find real food in the refrigerator, and if I hadn't been such an old hand at visiting sets, I may have been a little delighted too.
On Jay & Gloria's couch

We watched some filming, a scene involving Claire (Julie Bowen) and Phil (Ty Burrell) and their daughter Haley (Sarah Hyland) and suddenly all my Hollywood coolness fell away. They were incredible. The scene was reshot at least eight or nine times, and every single time the actors' nuances were detailed, their performances were subtly different, and the scene was as freshly hilarious as it was the first time. They deserved every Emmy they have won and I was awed.

For a painful moment, I wished desperately I had not given up my promising career as an actress. And then, for an even more painful moment, I remembered how crap I had been, and how the only award I would possibly have won would have been Waitress of the Month (and as I'm clumsy, impatient and rude, it's doubtful I even would have won that).
Sarah Hyland & Ty Burrell & me

After the filming, Rachael took us on a tour of the Fox lot like the VIPs we (wished desperately we) were. Then we chugged back to the set, and met several cast members, which, had I not been so used to meeting big celebrities, might have given me a bit of a thrill.

Rico Rodriguez II
The kids of the show were all absolutely divine - poised and confident and polite and friendly - just like Boo is in my dreams of the future. Ty Burrell and Eric Stonestreet (who plays Cameron) were warm and approachable. And Julie Bowen was hilarious, cracking jokes, talking a million miles an hour, and taking it upon herself to plait Boo's hair and interview Boo about her special blanky. (It turns out, much to my surprise, that the blanky is a 'boy', and cannot turn into a girl because it is not a 'magic blanky'. I did not know this.)

Me & Eric Stonestreet
Sadly, we did not get to meet Jesse Tyler Ferguson, who plays Mitchell brilliantly, or Ed O'Neill, who I have worshipped ever since his days in 'Married... With Children'. And even more sadly for The Architect, we did not get to meet Sofia Vergara's breasts, or even Sofia Vergara herself.

The Architect was crushed, and for that I am sorry, by my god I was relieved.

Julie Bowen
All in all, it was a very pleasant day.

And if I wasn't so totally Hollywood, I might say it was bloody awesome.


  1. Sofia Vergara has breasts ? I hadn't noticed. I've been too absorbed by her acting skills......

  2. Bahahahahahaha... breasts are over-rated. I know, I have two of the best.

  3. I would have been jealous if you got to meet Al Bundy.

  4. How fantastic!!! You met Simon Baker how did I miss this....goes back to search.

  5. OMFG, Phil has his arm around you. I LOVE Phil. x

  6. New to your blog - thanks to Nikki P from Styling You for sending us over as we're new at this blog thing - 8 weeks young. LOVE LOVE your writing - hilarious, and super jealous of this story. GREEN! If you have time maybe you could check us out and let me know what you think? www.alliandgenine.wordpress.com thanks!

  7. I love Modern Family. So jealous. (And I feel sorry for The Architect ...)

  8. Well, as for the peaking... I hate to say I told you so young lady.
    That is so fabulous that your poor Hubby didn't get to get his own back, I mean his own special meeting.
    See, life isn't fair.
    Just bloody brilliant -  for you!!

  9. This might sound wrong, but I'd actually like to meet Sofia's breasts too. Just to hear their accent up close.

  10. .....again, love you/hate you?
    The jury's still out!


  11. What i wouldn't give to be in your shoes right now. Please tell me that between meeting Simon and Modern Family hijinks something went wrong like no hot water in your hotel or a slight case of food poisoning from trashy yanky food? Please? Or tell me you need a nNobody to come over there and fetch you donuts.

  12. Oh please...meeting Simon AND on the set of Modern Family....you are simply showing off now! As a fellow fan of all things Hollywood I am extremely jealous & had a good chuckle at your jaded approach to your 2nd visit to a film set.

  13. Like I said when you tweeted about this, I was genuinely (almost tearfully) joyous on your behalf about meeting Simon. My gracious limits are being pushed on this one. Puushed. You got to practically *hug* Eric Stonestreet. ;'( Had you been seen with Sheldon (or any other Big Bangers), our friendship would now be over.

  14. If you need someone to schlep around after you on your next USA adventure I am your gal. First Simon Baker and now Modern Family?! Sigh, am so extremely jealous..!

  15. i am so jealous you met Eric Stonestreet and Ty Burrell! They are so funny, so lucky! loved reading this post! 


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