I Want What She Has

I am 43 years old and I am having a problem with jealousy.

No, I don't have any jealousy issues relating to my husband. The Architect is far too busy to engage in any kind of extra-curricular love life (and besides, he's not all that good at flirting). No, I am jealous of a person I have never even met, who has only been in the country for a few weeks.

So who is this person? Well, to understand, you'll need to know about J and K.

 

J and I have been friends for nearly 15 years, ever since she married a male friend of mine, the delightful Mr J. We all had our first babies within a couple of months of each other, and our kids have been good buddies for their entire lives.

J, K & L. But where am I?

Then there's K. K and I met around six years ago, when our sons struck up a friendship at school. Our daughters got along beautifully too, as did our husbands, so another family friendship was born.

Interestingly enough, it turned out that J and K had a mutual friend, a bestie, whose name begins with L (and no, I am not making these initials up). L has been a close friend of J and K since preschool, but she's lived overseas for over a decade, and I've never met her, or even been particularly aware of her existence.

Until now.

You see, L has moved back to Australia with her family, and suddenly, she's back on the agenda. J and K are both thrilled to have her back, and talk excitedly of all the good times ahead. And I "must" meet her, they say, once she's settled back into town.

"I'm sure you'll like each other," K told me the other day. "We'll jut take it slowly."

"I hope you two get along," J told me last night. "I think you will, but you never know."

And I'm thinking, okay, no pressure or anything, but what if she doesn't like me? What if we don't get along? What happens to J and K and I then???

And besides, all this talk of L is making me feel just a little left out. "It's just like having my sister back," said J. But... L has been out of the picture for years and years! I've been like a sister, haven't I? What does L give J that I don't?

"The kids are all getting on so beautifully," remarked K, and she's talking about her kids and L's, not mine. But... but... her kids and mine have been such close friends, I can't help but feel a bit slighted. Will there still be room for us in their lives now that the new kids are back in town?

I want to like L, I really truly do, but I can't help feel a tiny bit prejudiced against her. She has two of my best friends, and she's had them for much longer than me, and I know I'm sounding completely juvenile, but I just can't help myself. I'm jealous.

I know that both J and K are likely to read this post. I know that they will both contact me and tell me how much they love me, and that there is room in their lives for both of us. And I will believe them, because I know rationally that there is, and that we all have many friends, and that one precious friend doesn't replace another.

But I also know I really hope L and I like each other. For one thing, you can never have too many friends. For another thing, a foursome sounds like a lot of fun.