May 5, 2011

A Short But Revealing One

I feel really good about my book. I know it's going to sell well.

Or at least, that's what I thought I felt.

Turns out my subconscious is not nearly as confident as it would have me believe. For last night, it revealed itself to me in a dream. And it was not good.

I was away at a writers' festival with my agent Pippa, and my publisher, the Handsome Mark. I was speaking at the festival with another writer, a first-time author like me.

I was excited and positive about the turnout, until Pippa approached me, her face black with fury (metaphorically speaking. Even my dreams have some logic).

"You know you've blown it," she told me angrily.

"What do you mean?" I asked. I'd blown it? What exactly had I blown?

"You didn't get that story to me on time so now your book is ruined," she said. "It will never sell. It's all over."

I felt utterly crushed, and was overcome by a wave of panic. My hopes and dreams lay dying before me (again, metaphorically speaking. In the dream we were still at the writers' festival and everyone else was having a picnic).

I looked from Pippa to Mark. "But... but... what story are you talking about?"

"The one about you throwing the table through the window," Pippa said. "You promised it to me. You haven't delivered .So no-one will ever buy your book."

I looked pleadingly at Mark. He nodded, his face hard and cold.

"It's true," he said. "I can't help you. It's all finished. You should have written that story."

I started to cry, great racking sobs that actually woke me up from my dream. I shifted over in the bed, prodded my husband and asked him for a cuddle.

"I had a terrible nightmare!" I told him. "I dreamed that Pippa and Mark told me the book was finished because I forgot to write a story about throwing a table through a window!"

My husband pulled away and looked at me. "You forgot to write the story about the table?" he joked. "How could you forget to write the story about the table! Oh that's very bad....."

And he wonders why I have issues.....


  1. Good Lord. As a psychologist- as YOUR psychologist- I suggest you fly to Melbourne and get up onto my couch immediately. Or my bed. I don't care. I'll cuddle you until you feel better.

  2. well now I want to read that story....

  3. Well, I wasn't going to say anything...but while staying in Sydney for your launch I dreamt that my purse was stolen by a woman in a blue hat. And you got it back for me. And you were pregnant with your fourth child. So work THAT out. (PS I'd bought a new purse earlier that day.)

  4. I'm just impressed the architect cottoned on to the gag so quickly when woken in the middle of the night !
    All my husband would be able to manage is a "Wha??" or just an expletive xx

  5. Sometimes, dreams don't mean anything at all. They are just a dumping ground for all the crap it takes to be human in the world.

    Yesterday, Rocco's daycare teacher asked me where I went last week when I had all my hair nice. Told her it was a friends book launch down in Sydney. She asked me what book, I told her. She asked me what it was about, I told her. By this stage, ALL the other teachers were listening, and they were laughing, and saying "Ohhh, it sounds like a GREAT book! I should buy it for my mum for mothers day!" (Yeah, they're all about 12 years old) ... and I said YES. Yes you must. It is a wonderful book.

    And it is.


  6. "All my hair ..." yes, because most of it has fallen out with the stress of being a mother, and being the only prick around here who ever DOES the dishes. xox

  7. Kerri, if you ever come to our place, we'll take you out for a coffee, then you can throw someone else's table around...... ;-)

  8. I think you need a holiday! :-)

  9. Hi kerri i bought your book today. Can't wait to start it (but sick kids, school pick ups and work are working against me!)

  10. So disappointed that your book hasn't made it to Canberra yet! Do you know if we are getting copies here? I know I can order it online but I wanted it for Mother's Day (for me and two of my friends) and went out today to Westfield and the City and no one has it! Can't wait to read it even without the table throwing incident. xx

  11. I know the feeling! Good luck xxxxx

  12. I do! The excitement is killing me.

  13. I noticed 'all of your hair' was nice. All 24,375 strands. I counted, you know.

  14. Jeez Kylie - my psych doesn't offer those services!

  15. @Madmother Mine doesn't either and she's my mother. Ok, she's not actually my psychologist but she behaves more like one than like my mother. I think I want to swap so I can have @Kylie L (does the @ thing work on here, it tells me it will)

  16. awwwwww I hate those racking sob dreams... so disturbing.I had a sex dream about Wil Anderson once... I woke in racking sobs too.... xx

  17. Husbands can be so


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