March 28, 2011

I Was Unsettled In Hobart. Read Why....

This past weekend I had a lovely surprise trip to Hobart. The Architect wanted to visit MONA (not a whinging woman, as one might have thought, but an amazing museum built a few months ago), and he wanted me to accompany him, firstly because I am excellent company, and secondly to ensure he didn't have to sit next to a stranger on the plane. The Architect hates sitting next to strangers.

Hobart is a gorgeous city, but teeny tiny small. Seriously. They claim to have 250,000 people, but out of the four random people I exchanged small talk with on the Saturday, I bumped into all of them - yes ALL - at vaious locations the next day. And they weren't hotel staff. The place is weeny. Either that or people are magnetically drawn to me. Which is possible too.

But Hobart is truly beautiful. The food was great, the service was incredible, Salamanca markets were terrific value, and MONA was outstanding. Still, I did feel a little unsettled during my stay, and I'll tell you why:

1. Hobart does not have a Westfield. I know, it's unbelievable. I mean, what do people DO on a rainy day? Read? Talk to each other? Just knowing I was thousands of kilometres away from the familiar comfort of a mall made me feel out of sorts. It was Australia, but not as I knew it. Without a Westfield, we might as well have been in Uganda.

2. All the girls wore teeny tiny dresses to go out in the evening - possibly to match their teeny tiny city. Now, I have no problem with skimpy outfits. I'd wear them myself if I had skimpy legs. But it was FREEZING in Tasmania. I mean, single digit, three-layers-including-wool-and-leather freezing. And they were wearing boob tubes and mini-skirts. It bothered me. I wanted to take off my jacket and wrap it around their shoulders and put them in front of a nice warm fire. Only I didnt, because I needed my jacket myself. And besides, they'd think I was nuts.

3. There was rabbit on every single menu. 'Spunky with poached figs'. Braised Spunky with cream sauce'. 'Spunky ragout with lentils'. Now, I don't want to be a hypocrite. Obviously there are times I want to kill my bunny. But that doesn't mean other people should be killing theirs.

4. MONA had an art installation called 'C*** And Other Conversations'. It was a series of dozens of plaster casts of the female body part my daughter always refers to as her 'shiny'. I looked at them all. Very closely. And there were none that perfectly matched mine. Which made me feel good for being unique, but bad for being....well... unrepresented. Still, perhaps the conversation just hadn't gone on long enough.

5. Another art installation was a wall of TV screens, featuring fervent Madonna fans singing the lyrics to every song from her Immaculate Collection album. It was supposed to be an ironic social commentary on the nature of celebrity culture. But I just wanted to sing along.

26 comments:

  1. Oh hell, I so want to do a road trip with YOU!

    Did you jump back to the previous exhibit to sing "Like a Virgin" to the twats?

    P.S. It was a giny here when the boys were young, now it is "Ewwwww, gross!"

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  2. Do you think that's why Westfield stole your new Witchery top today? Because it was upset with you for running off for the weekend?

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  3. Geez, sounds quite highbrow. Was there simply just a Spunky and chips?

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  4. You could pick your shiny out of a line up? I'm not sure I could recognise mine if it turned up on my plate. With a side serve of Spunky.

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  5. You could probably take heart that the bunnies on the menu aren't cute like Spunky. So really, it's not all bad.

    And I'm not sure that Shiny and Other Conversations would have people talking, as they wouldn't know what it was. But man I hate the C word.

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  6. I lived in Hobart for two years. I shopped online. I also saw stonewash denim for the first time since 1989.

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  7. ahh yes hobart, in fact tasmania in general is probably about say 20 or so odd years behind the rest of the country, in fact i think the only place that may be further behind is perth - i live in one and yet am desperate to move to another - insane? why yes i am thank you very much!

    re the second point - i think it's something to do with living in a cold place and wanting to prove how tough [or insane] you are - i saw it ALOT when we lived in the north of england - like minus 5 at night and femme fatales tottering out in heels, skirts/dress barely covering their shiny and tops barely covering their boobs!!

    as for the rabbit, take heart that i wasn't spunky! never had rabbit, for me it should be hopping in fields not served up on my plate, it just doesn't seem right to eat thumper!

    ~x~

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  8. I was all ready to comment, and then I read @KylieL's comment and I am laughing too hard to bother.

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  9. You wouldn't believe there was a place on earth like Hobart, until you visit Hobart. I lived there for 14 months...loooongest 14 months of my life. I truly don't understand the rabbit fascination. My mother still doesn't believe me that on my first night there my MIL served up rabbit for tea. Just unfathomable...until it's sitting on a plate in front of you that is.

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  10. Same as Al's comment. I'm still wondering if I'd recognise my shiny in a line up and am guessing not.

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  11. Except for the Madonna, it sounds awesome. I love small cities, malls are, in your daughter's unquie vocab: shinys, girls in short dresses are OK by me and I love eating rabbits.

    Happy to host the line up with Kylie Ladd, or does this sentence cross right over from cheeky into dead set creepy? I can't tell.

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  12. I've been to Hobart a couple of times, including the markets and really enjoyed it. It didn't even occur to me that it was missing a Westfield. But it does have a revolving restaurant upon a tower at the Casino.

    Sitting down to dinner with my husband, I left my handbag on the windowsill. One course later I reached down for it, only it was missing. I turned around to find it NEXT TO THE COUPLE AT THE TABLE BEHIND US! THE NERVE!! Before I could embarrass myself with criminal accusations at my table neighbours, the waiter came to the rescue and quietly said 'happens all the time. The windows do not revolve, only the rest of the restaurant". Oh.

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  13. Vaginas, shopping malls, and rabbits. I don't know if I'm qualified to comment here. I seem to have missed out on eating rabbit........As for the others,if you've seen one...... ;-)

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  14. Ah Hobart. I lived there for 24 years from the age of 3 to the age of 27.

    1) I have never eaten rabbit or been offered it. You should have been eating fish. Blue Eye.

    2) The fact that there is no Westfield is even worse when you realise that half of Myer went up in flames three years ago and will probably not be rebuilt.

    3) Hobart is only cold if you're from Sydney (or Melbourne and deluded). You should go to Manchester... your mothering instinct would go into overdrive and it IS really cold there.

    4) Criticism of Hobart still really gets me going. We're a sensitive lot.

    I will probably never live there again (too small and as you say no Westfield which would kill me) but it's still 'home' and rather lovely.

    PS Don't go to the revolving (revolting as the locals unkindly call it) restaurant if you're terribly hungover, you'll be sick. I was 22 then of course...

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  15. I live in Hobart and don't see rabbit on the menu very often. Makes me wonder if there's a plague of them right now!? (eww)

    And sshhh to those doing the Tassie bashing. It's 24 and sunny here today, the 'it's so freezing' line gets very boring for us Hobartians! So does the 'backwards' line.

    That said, I do my shopping in Melbourne because well, it's better than every other capital city.

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  16. Let me state for the record that the weather was GORGEOUS. I was wearing a t-shirt most of the time, and the sun was shining.
    I also bought three very cute rings at the markets.
    I LOVED Hobart and would love to return.
    Having said that, half a Meyer is pretty darn sad.....
    xxxxx

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  17. Hobart is TINY and MONA is my crush. I wrote about the vaginas a few weeks back after I fell in love with the exhibit at the opening.

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  18. Look don't ask me about shineys or short short clothes.. Too freakin' old but I would just add... It was so romantic that the Architect wanted to take you to see Mona. Nice one..he had you all to himself ...before, TA dah - Fame as Author spreads.. Xx

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  19. Ditto what Ann said. Especially the bit about rabbit. Oh, and having half a Myer. Although Kikki K and Witchery have murmured about opening up down here.

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  20. The c*nt exhibition reminds of that time on Sex and the City when Charlotte had hers painted by an artist.

    Weird, but cool. The rabbit is weird, and not so cool. I don't think I could go there. x

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  21. I'm still cackling over Kylie's comment too!

    I've never been to Tassie but would love to. Gorgeous from what I've seen and been told. Of course, I also know that I wouldn't have to live there.

    As for the shinys, I'm just spending too much time wondering if the exhibit was Cu**s or Cl**s... no doubt it should be obvious but either way I'm wondering how they get away with advertising it!

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  22. I've just found your blog and read the last htree posts. I really like what I'm reading.

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  23. A girl I know used to used to refer to her "China". And she wasn't talking about a porcelain tea cup. Love Tasmania and Mona sounds like a fantastic excuse to visit.

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  24. Ditto what Ann said. Especially the bit about rabbit. Oh, and having half a Myer. Although Kikki K and Witchery have murmured about opening up down here.

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  25. You wouldn't believe there was a place on earth like Hobart, until you visit Hobart. I lived there for 14 months...loooongest 14 months of my life. I truly don't understand the rabbit fascination. My mother still doesn't believe me that on my first night there my MIL served up rabbit for tea. Just unfathomable...until it's sitting on a plate in front of you that is.

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  26. Hobart is even worse than you think. The beauty staff at Myer (the only place to buy make-up, really, since no Westfield) finish the day at 5pm. And since there are no trams or trains, only buses (and they aren't even through the CBD), walking in the freezing rain coming in sideways under your umbrella is the main form of transport.

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