January 31, 2011

Death By Camp

I'm not an overly anxious person. I'm... Oh for godsake. Who am I kidding. I'm an incredibly anxious person. Let's start this again. With honesty.

I'm an extremely anxious person. Always have been, probably always will be. However, I've worked very hard over the years to manage my anxiety, particularly in relation to my children. It's not my kids' fault they have me as a mum. It's bad enough they're going to be stuck with a genetic predisposition to anxiety; I don't want this excacerbated by the additional burden of anxious parenting.

So I try to stay relaxed. I don't wrap them in cotton wool. I let the older kids ride their bikes around the neighbourhood by themselves. I leave them in the house for an hour alone while I go to the casino (okay, the shops, fear not, I was just testing you). I try not to worry when they're out in other people's cars. I try not to panic when the phone rings in the middle of the day and it's the school nurse (or worse, the teacher, or worse than that, the principal). I refuse to let my mind wander to all the terrible mishaps that can befall a child in this dangerous modern world (which is no doubt safer than the dangerous ancient world, but still...).

But this.... This is really stretching my limits.

My son is going on a school camp this term. Now, he's been to school camps before, as has my daughter. But this one is different. This one is Death by Camp. This camp has the Disclaimer to end all Disclaimers. And I'm scared.

Take a look at what I need to sign:

I acknowledge that the activities may be of an adventurous nature, often in remote bush settings.
(REMOTE??? Why REMOTE?? Aren't there any 'nearby' bush settings' they can go to??? Can't they just camp in a playpark?)

I am aware that these activities involve an altered or increased risk of illness, injury or death arising from an accident or event occuring during an activity or within the camp environment.
DEATH? NO! I'm not aware of an increased risk of DEATH. Illness I can take. My son comes home with a cold. Big deal. Injury? Well, a sprained ankle wouldn't be ideal, but it's not the end of the world. These things happen. But DEATH? Uh uh. No way. I'm not sending my son off to Lethal Camp of Schoolboy Doom.

I understand that all hazards and dangers associated with these activities cannot be forseen or may be beyond the control of Camp X, its instructors or staff.
NO! I don't understand! Isn't it your JOB to forsee all hazards and dangers associated with these activities?? I mean, isn't that kind of why you're THERE? If you can't handle the heat, instructors, then get out of the remote bushland, and find a job somewhere hazard free. Like in a typing pool. If they still have them. Which they probably don't. But it was the most hazard-free thing I could think of.

I agree that if my child suffers injury or illness, Camp X can, at my cost, arrange medical treatment and emergency evacuation services as Camp X deems appropriate.
Fabulous. Not only are you possibly going to maim or infect my child, when you do, you're going to make me PAY for it??

But I'm just being anxious. I'm sure the camp is all perfectly safe. The Disclaimer is just a piece of paper. It doesn't mean there's really any danger. Right?

Right?

RIGHT???

26 comments:

  1. As one who also suffers from high anxiety I am in wholehearted sympathy with you here. Can't you just go with him? Better yet, you and your husband should both go.
    (And before anyone says its important not to be an overly protective parent, I don't care. There can never be too much over protecting and helicoptering as far as I'm concerned)
    *removing tongue from cheek now*

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  2. Holy crap. When we were in NZ, Mr then-8 went on a school camp. They don't have the same health safety rules or public liability rules etc etc. The kids activities involved going on a 45 metre high flying fox across a river, crossing same river on logs, doing an orienteering trail in the dark and later, while blind folded; and shooting at fake possums with air rifles. Even the teacher said the flying fox made her throw up she was so scared.
    He loved it though, and came back saying he had 'faced up to his fears' and felt more confident about himself.
    I swear he grew-up that week, while I cracked a few more teeth and had nightmares.
    Hope you guys make it through too!

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  3. Why they include these disclaimers I have no idea (ok I do but you know what I mean - I hope). On the one hand they want you to give them 100% trust that your child will be fine and that camping gives them independence blah blah blah. On the other hand these disclaimers only make you wonder what COULD actually happen if you let them go...Sigh..parenthood is never easy. I can totally empathise with you there, being an overly anxious parent myself...but...am actually looking forward to Miss 9 going for her 2nd school camp this year...shhhh....

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  4. Covering their ass. Makes you feel really at ease hey.

    My friends son went on one of these camps. Do you know how he hurt himself? When he punched the dashboard because his mum wouldn't let him have coke on the way home through the Hungry Jacks drive-thru.


    Good luck, it will all be fine. Bern xx

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  5. It doesn't help the anxious mother when people constantly tell you not to worry. So what I will say by way of being helpful, is that for all outdoor activities they do, they take many safety precautions. They will wear life jackets, sturdy footwear, stay with the group, wear helmets (that they all share and probably don't use hair nets with)...

    My friend's son returned from an adventure school camp with not a scratch, but a souvenir head-full of lice. So now I have you unconsciously scratching, you are not worried about death or broken bones anymore, am I right? X

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  6. Did I say my friend's son came back from camp without 'a scratch'? That was inaccurate.

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  7. Okay - hope this will help - both my kids have been on camps to fairly remote bushland (I'm assuming you are talking about some kind of outward bound trekking type thing?)Mine haven't done that yet and their camps were enough to make me stressed.
    But, if it helps, my Mum may have had to sign this disclaimer before she sent me - timid little me - on outward bound where for ten days we slept under tarps made into bivvys (no tents), hiked with heavy backpacks containing all the food we would need plus cooking equipment and clothes for those ten days, carried large uninflated inflateable rafts (so heavy), rafted on a lake full of dead trees and very deep, hiked more, got rained on, abseild (how do you spell that)(I didn't) rock climbed (I didn't)and there was a high ropes course (ah, no) the group before ours was snowed on, one of the girls was helicoptered out with chicken pox and I came home with pneumonia.
    But it helped my home sickness.
    And I never felt unsafe, ever, even in the middle of the night with a creek rushing through our bivvy because it had started to rain suddenly, or when I woke up next to a huge spider...seriously I never did, ever.
    Then again - I was in year 9.
    Any younger than that I would baulk at sending my child to something like that.
    best of luck.

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  8. April - it's ALL of those things! Four days, not ten, but he's only in Year 6!!!
    (and my captcha is 'dropp' - NOT OFF A CLIFF I HOPE!!!)

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  9. Though with death there aren't, at least, any of those follow on medical expenses. Sort of a middle ground win/win?

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  10. Bloody hell, my kids went on camp every year in primary school and I never had to sign a disclaimer like that. Thank fuck, or I would have had pre-camp seizures.
    Last camp my daughter went on she got thrown off a horse and rumours of varying degrees spread that she had either been knocked out, broken both her legs, or had actually died. Most of the other kids had mobile phones, rang their parents, and the rumours kept spreading. As she didn't have a phone, I heard nothing about any of it until I went to meet the busload of campers when they got back. One of the other mums approached me cautiously and said "Oh so your daughter's ok? She's coming back on the bus? She's not in hospital?"
    Cue Mega Seizure.

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  11. It is a sad world when these disclaimers have to be included, but I guess they have to. Just not good for the anxious types LOL!

    We live in the bush, okay not really, but a regional town and the kids go on camps to remote bush around here all the time.

    I don't even know if we have disclaimers on our forms, (bit backwards here out in the stix), other than the 'Enter At Own Risk' sign on the camp entrance that is.

    He will be fine. Just up your health/life insurance just in case.

    Hope my comment has made you feel less anxious... #fail

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  12. Kerri, send him to the Mafia training school in Calabria. It'll be much safer. They're such nice people........

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  13. When I was in year five, the entire year six class died when instead of sticks and marshmallows, they picked up marshmallows and a nest of vipers which bit all the kids.
    Parents couldn't do anything because they'd signed that consent form.

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  14. Kerri, just so you know, those disclaimers are not legally valid - you can sue them (which will be a great comfort if they kill your kid :P)

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  15. Have you read the risks of popping a few paracetamol tablets lately? They're killers. Killers I tell you!

    My 8yo daughter goes on a 2 night camp later this year. She stops eating and drinking whenever she's mega excited....so I am actually much more worried she's going to die from dehydration than falling off a cliff.

    Trish xx

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  16. I've always thought I was extraordinarily anxious. But I was obviously wrong.

    I never read my son's camp notes.

    I assumed they said something like "I happily agree for someone else to look after my gorgeous and talented son for several days, allowing me to have a refreshing and well-earned break from worrying about him. Happy, happy day."

    I believe that you may be looking a gift horse in the mouth!

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  17. Can't believe you actually read the disclaimer. THAT is funny.

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  18. This brings back awful memories of a music camp in Grade Five where we all got food poisoning from Shepherds Pie. I don't think there were any disclaimers about anything back then, let alone the dodgy slapped together food! From then on I always took dry biscuits and Nutella on camp, and refused to eat anything they served us! x

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  19. Oh boy, I would be wanting a reassuring chat with the teacher/principal/whoever the hell knows exactly what activities are going to be undertaken at this camp person, before I signed any such form! Holy moly! Overreacting, um, NO!!

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  20. Kerri that disclaimer is a means of the camp trying to contract out of a possible neglience action in case your child is hurt. They are just thinking of discouraging you from bringing a legal action against them, not that anything is likely to actually happen.

    However, you should know that they can't contract out of a negligence claim for a reasonably forseeable risk - ie if we go climbing, a child might fall and break their arm. NOT THAT HE WILL BREAK AN ARM OR ANY PART OF HIS BODY!

    If it were me I would be doing a recce to where they are going to suss it all out first, so possibly I am an even more anxious mum than you!!

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  21. My family live in PNG and my 11 year old brother recently went on a school camp where they flew (in a very small plane!) to a remote area of PNG with a very poor landing strip. *I* nearly had a fit. I told him he wasn't going. He said "I don't care what you say, you don't live in the same country as me." Dun-dun. My mum was quite chilled, although he is her 3rd with slightly over a decade between her eldest (me) and youngest. I think she's used to it by now.

    However, my mum used to cross out any part of the form she disagreed with. If your kid dies, I'm sure you can (and will and should) sue their asses off.

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  22. If it makes you feel any better they make the teachers sign them too!

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  23. My family live in PNG and my 11 year old brother recently went on a school camp where they flew (in a very small plane!) to a remote area of PNG with a very poor landing strip. *I* nearly had a fit. I told him he wasn't going. He said "I don't care what you say, you don't live in the same country as me." Dun-dun. My mum was quite chilled, although he is her 3rd with slightly over a decade between her eldest (me) and youngest. I think she's used to it by now.

    However, my mum used to cross out any part of the form she disagreed with. If your kid dies, I'm sure you can (and will and should) sue their asses off.

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  24. Kerri, just so you know, those disclaimers are not legally valid - you can sue them (which will be a great comfort if they kill your kid :P)

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  25. Okay - hope this will help - both my kids have been on camps to fairly remote bushland (I'm assuming you are talking about some kind of outward bound trekking type thing?)Mine haven't done that yet and their camps were enough to make me stressed.
    But, if it helps, my Mum may have had to sign this disclaimer before she sent me - timid little me - on outward bound where for ten days we slept under tarps made into bivvys (no tents), hiked with heavy backpacks containing all the food we would need plus cooking equipment and clothes for those ten days, carried large uninflated inflateable rafts (so heavy), rafted on a lake full of dead trees and very deep, hiked more, got rained on, abseild (how do you spell that)(I didn't) rock climbed (I didn't)and there was a high ropes course (ah, no) the group before ours was snowed on, one of the girls was helicoptered out with chicken pox and I came home with pneumonia.
    But it helped my home sickness.
    And I never felt unsafe, ever, even in the middle of the night with a creek rushing through our bivvy because it had started to rain suddenly, or when I woke up next to a huge spider...seriously I never did, ever.
    Then again - I was in year 9.
    Any younger than that I would baulk at sending my child to something like that.
    best of luck.

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  26. Its just a worse possible case! Like in the RAREST form a tree falls down and severely injures a group.
    Companys dont want everyone suing them for things that they have no control over! eg mother nature!!
    These camps re do risk management strategies all the time making these camps and trips are as safe as possible! Trust me I'm an outdoor instructor and my mother still worry's about all that stuff, but were trained in doing everything possible to keep our clients safe, while still ensuring there fun!
    We do these activities every single day and maintain their quality every single day!
    These forms ensure we dont loose our jobs when a boy decides to tackle another while they wait for their turn on the activity, which then results in one braking an arm. These are the sort of issues we deal with the most!
    So don't worry mothers you children are as safe as they can be, there's no need to wrap them up in wool just yet! :)

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