September 30, 2010

The Door That Jopped

The other day, I was interviewed for television by a reasonably famous television journalist. Now, I'm not going to give you specific details about why I was interviewed (so don't ask), but it was about someone else's project, not my own. I was being interviewed in the capacity of 'commentator' rather than 'star', which, quite frankly, is not at all my preference. As you know, I have never been one to shun the limelight, and I can talk about myself for hours. Still, any publicity is good publicity, so I touched up my lippy and composed myself on the couch.

'So, what was your reaction?' the reasonably famous television journalist asked me.

'Well,' I said, beaming, and offering my best side to the camera (which, obviously, was the one without the sticky-out ear), 'when I saw it for the first time, my door jopped.'

'Right,' said the RFTJ. 'Let's do that again. So, what was your reaction?'

I beamed again, a bit blankly, wondering why the hell he had repeated the question.

'Well, uh...' I started. And then it hit me. Oh GOD, I realised, did I say just say door jopped ?)'Um... my JAW, it DROPPED,' I said, slowly and carefully.

'Right', the RFTJ said, smiling and nodding back at me, clearly understanding that he was dealing with someone who had a serious speech impediment. He looked about to wrap up, but gave it one more go.

'So why do you think about it?' he asked. (Okay, so he was a bit more specific than that, but it will do for the purposes of this post.)

'Um...' I began, and my mind went blank. What DID I think about it? Did I think anything at all? I wasn't sure I did. In fact, I couldn't recall any thoughts I'd had, ever, in my life. But I had to say something.

'Well, I think it's marvellous, just marvellous,' I said, because obviously that was expected of me. I beamed again, showing my flat ear.

The RFTJ looked satisfied. 'Great! Just great!' he said. 'I think we're done here!'

'So I'll be on the news tonight, then?' I asked.

'Tonight! Yes!' He shook my hand vigorously. 'Of course you will. Don't forget to watch!' And he dashed to the next subject.

And I was on the news. A glimpse of my hair, seen from afar, as I was deeply and eloquently engrossed in conversation with someone who wasn't waving a camera in my face.

But my interview? It wasn't used. And as I watched the show, in great anticipation, my door jopped.


  1. Kerri did you get to go to ANTM???

  2. Okay, I'm going to bite - what's ANTM?

  3. Oh sorry, it's Aus Next Top Model.
    Jaw Dropping.... I thought maybe you were there.

    Now I need to know where you were instead!

    (oops forgot my name above sorry)

  4. Don't worry Kerri, I was all excited about appearing on a certain network's top rating breakfast show (starts with T ends with ODAY) and after my interview THE WHOLE STORY GOT DUMPED! You're only a little bit toxic. I'm toxic enough to infect the whole story!

  5. Oh God, this is why I avoid media appearances wherever possible. I am much better at writing words than saying them ... at least you didn't get totally dropped!
    And Felicity, what did you do? It must have been the story not the interviewee!

  6. Oh Felicity!!!
    What I didn't mention is that my pic was also taken for the Telegraph. They ran with the story but LEFT MY PICTURE OUT. The SHAME!!!!
    (and Suze, sorry about ANTM. Now I have humiliated myself twice in my own blogpost xxx)

  7. I'm laughing with you, kind of. How rude! It's why I prefer live radio. Unless you say a naughty word they don't cut you. Ever. I had to do an interview for Channel 10 news once & they came to the house, I too put on a swipe of lippy, and I said a whole bunch of important stuff about Stefan and helping the homeless, they asked for 5 minutes of talking, and I think I was cut down to 1 sentence. I didn't think I sounded that bad ... obviously I did LOL

  8. ouch!

    always getting my mords wixed up.

    great post!


  9. My joor dopped that they did not use your erudite comments. Clearly they don't know talent when they see it (particularly if that difficult ear was out of the picture). Next time.

  10. LOL. I couldn't even get it right in a comment. Door jopped. Door jopped. Going away to practice.

  11. you're way more interesting than those famous people, what is wrong with these journos?

  12. Never mind Kerri, you'll be mega famous one day. Perhaps Kyle Sandilands could coach you. He NEVER puts his foot in it......

  13. Maybe you need to be an old man.
    Some 'journos' came to interview my 87 year old father-in-law for a little story for a country paper. He had a full page photo and story in The Country Life!

    Yeah....not quite the same....

  14. Thanks for the laugh...sorry! :)

    Definitely think you may need some serious representation..Max Markson does a good job, who I think's up your way?

  15. Kerri, I have a feeling that the next time you're on TV, you will be so awesome that all the people watching at home will jop their draws ;)

  16. Okay, I'm going to bite - what's ANTM?


Thanks! Love hearing from you.

Like it? Share it!