May 18, 2010

No Dinner, I'm Straight

Last night I straightened my hair. That isn't unusual. I straighten my hair a lot, generally when I have somewhere to go or someone to impress, and I don't want them to notice that I have dreadlocks under my curls like a Rastafari bongo player.

The thing is, last night I had nowhere to go and no-one to impress. The only thing that was on the agenda was ‘Home Duties’*, and the only people I could potentially impress were my kids (who think my hair looks 'weird' when it's straight because I 'don't look like Mummy') and my husband (who has seen me on the toilet with a pore strip on my nose, so is probably incapable of being impressed at this point).

What's more, it was raining outside, and the forecast was for more rain, so I knew that my hair would remain straight for approximately 21 seconds once I left the house this morning, and, as any woman with a GHD will know, half straight hair is far worse than hair that is not straightened at all**.

Even more significantly, I still had to bathe the toddler, feed the kids, do some laundry, clean up, supervise homework and make the school lunches, and I didn’t have time to straighten my stupid hair.

So why did I do it? Because the straightener was there. Yes, I saw it when I opened the bathroom cabinet, an idea popped into my head, and despite the fact that the kids were waiting for dinner and the toddler was prancing around naked from the waist down, I just had to use it. Like an older Jessica Watson, the straightener was my boat and my curly hair was the sea***.

It happens a great deal. I’ll have a long list of urgent and important things to do, and I’ll get completely sidetracked by some non-urgent and irrelevant task. Like painstakingly cleaning our entire white couch at 6pm on a Saturday night when guests are about to arrive and there are clothes strewn all over the floor, a mountain of toys on the table, and several days worth of dishes still in the sink. Or suddenly deciding I need to trim my fringe at 7.30am when I’m supposed to be getting the kids to school. (Never try that one. The kids arrive late, and it takes a $120 hairdressing appointment to repair the damage.)

So what is it with my constant segueing? I feel like the only way I could keep on track is to stay in a bare white room with no distractions until the task at hand is complete. Trouble is, it would be difficult to prepare dinner, bathe the kids or get them ready for school in a bare white room with no distractions. I mean, for one thing, where would the food and the clothes live?

So for now, I shall continue my careless ways, starting one chore and ending up doing something completely different. I mean, even this post took me three hours to write.

I straightened my hair again in between writing.

It rained this morning, you know.


*using ‘Home’ in the sense of ‘Crap’
**actually I use an FHI, but I presumed none of you would know what that is
***just threw in that Jessica Watson reference to keep my post fresh and newsy. Cool, huh?

17 comments:

  1. Bet you get a few hits with the search "Jessica Watson and the dreadlocked Rastafarian bongo player" God I hope so.

    I can so relate. I cannot focus on one room. I think we have a cockroach plague and do you think I can remember to buy the bombs to kill the fuckers when I go to the shops. No.


    I think I need to check myself into some kind of rehab. A rehab for procrastinators.

    Now, excuse me whilst I go buy a Mars bar and do anything but what I'm being paid to do.

    Great post x

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  2. Yes, yes, I do. Am doing it right now. I am in actual fact putting the washing in the dryer. Not reading your blog. Not at all.

    The worst person for this, however, is my husband, who without fail will choose to polish the toaster (or some other equally important task) five minutes before guests are due to arrive and when there are 100 (read 1000) other more important things to be done.

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  3. And right now I have a BILLION VERY IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO - like get a magazine to the printers and yet... here I am faffing round on your blog.
    But kindred spirits are full of win - as all the cool kids are saying. ;-)

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  4. As per your Twitter question, do I do this? Hmmm. Possibly the fact that I am posting this response halfway through my strictly-writing-only-no,-this-time-I-mean-it day and I am already 236 words behind where I am meant to be at this point may answer your question. I blame my laptop designer. Whose big idea was it to put the shiny "Push-me-I'm-fun!" internet button next to the Word one? It cals to me as the sea calls to Jessica Watson. (Fresh! Newsy! Zeitgesit!)

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  5. Yes,perhaps it's because we just need to do something for ourselves in our day, or else we just spend every waking moment cleaning up after everyone else and then get crabby and resentful when the just cleaned bathroom floor has goatee hair clippings on it. Maybe that's just me.

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  6. When I've got a million things to do, I get on twitter. So if you see me on Twitter, please remind me that my washing won't fold itself and that the children are starving.

    That is all. x

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  7. When husband is home, which as you know is, like, never, he can't stand watching the way I attempt to get things done. He says I do 70% of a task before moving onto the next thing and he can't understand why I don't just complete something, and then complete the next thing etc. But as WE all understand, housework is so bloody boring, I chop and change constantly just to keep things a little
    less tedious...

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  8. Yep! We're all the bloody same...distracted procrstinators! The washing machine's overflowing, kids are on fire and the cat's eating tonights coq-au-vin but still, here we are, in our pyjamas and posting blog comments. At least I don't mess around with hair straightners. I know when to draw the line.

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  9. Kerri, you can't fool me. You only straightened your hair because Simon Baker was on telly. He can't see you, you know............

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  10. So heartening to read why you usually straighten your hair. But the procrastination thing? I feel as though we are (pardon me while I go all Anne of Green Gables for a minute) "kindred spirits." That said, reading through all these comments there appear to be a community of kindreds here. Is it a writing thing?

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  11. I have 20 coming for dinner tonight and I am already behind in my tasks and so of course this is just the perfect time for me to leave a comment.

    Now I actually think this is quite a serious topic and I have a theory about people who become distracted or distract themselves in the normal course of the day's tasks. I think it is partly related to day dreaming... that is, I think children and adults who are natural day dreamers really need time to drift and dream, and if they can't get this time they just drift to another job rather than concentrate and complete the job to be done.

    It is also related to procrastination. I think procrastination gives you time to drift and dream a little. It is also quite enjoyable to begin with, and then it is panic stations when you realise that the job you put off really needs to be done and you have just not given yourself the time needed to complete it.

    This leads me to my other theory ... that some people need to feel a little panic to be pushed into doing what needs to be done.

    Now that I am on a roll .... I also believe that for some people it is only possible to do A if they do B first and then possibly they need to just start B and then try D and F and rather than complete D and F they find that they can now go back and do A and complete B. By then they are really tired and will put off D and F until the following week. But by then D and F are really boring thoughts and so they go on and start G but not finish G but will go back and have a look at how lovely was the job they did with A. And given that A is so lovely they might do some more on A, which doesn't need it at all. And it is only when hubby or wife or someone else will ask ..'what happened to C?' that these people will shriek OMG and realise that they totally forgot about C.

    I could go on and on, or go and set the table for tonight but instead I think I will do a little sweeping in my garden.

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  12. "It happens a great deal. I’ll have a long list of urgent and important things to do, and I’ll get completely sidetracked by some non-urgent and irrelevant task."

    DITTO!

    I'm cleaning a room, will pick something up that belongs in another room. I go in there, open the drawer to put it away and think, 'Oh - gosh. I really need to tidy this drawer.' I'm there for 20 minutes before I remember I was cleaning the *other* room.

    *sigh*

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  13. I do the same thing. It's a way to avoid the dramas of reality. My hair is extremely curly and I have never been able to straighten it successfully so it's always curly. I think I am the only one left on planet earth that opts to have it this way.

    Loved it Kerri

    xx

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  14. I have missed your blog - I have to remember to visit more often no matter how grey things are thank you for much *LLTMWRB* *hugs*

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  15. Here's what I have to say on this.. Clearly Kerri, you have plenty on your plate to do.. And sometimes you just need to take some "you" time... I don't see anything wrong with that.. well perhaps there might be if there wasn't always an abundance of nutella around for the kids to eat.. but as it is, they won't starve.. I say they know how to find a spoon and the nutella jar isn't child-proof.. They'll be fine...!!

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  16. Glad to know I'm not the only one who seriously struggles to multitask and actively sabotages my own efforts ;o)

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  17. I have 20 coming for dinner tonight and I am already behind in my tasks and so of course this is just the perfect time for me to leave a comment.

    Now I actually think this is quite a serious topic and I have a theory about people who become distracted or distract themselves in the normal course of the day's tasks. I think it is partly related to day dreaming... that is, I think children and adults who are natural day dreamers really need time to drift and dream, and if they can't get this time they just drift to another job rather than concentrate and complete the job to be done.

    It is also related to procrastination. I think procrastination gives you time to drift and dream a little. It is also quite enjoyable to begin with, and then it is panic stations when you realise that the job you put off really needs to be done and you have just not given yourself the time needed to complete it.

    This leads me to my other theory ... that some people need to feel a little panic to be pushed into doing what needs to be done.

    Now that I am on a roll .... I also believe that for some people it is only possible to do A if they do B first and then possibly they need to just start B and then try D and F and rather than complete D and F they find that they can now go back and do A and complete B. By then they are really tired and will put off D and F until the following week. But by then D and F are really boring thoughts and so they go on and start G but not finish G but will go back and have a look at how lovely was the job they did with A. And given that A is so lovely they might do some more on A, which doesn't need it at all. And it is only when hubby or wife or someone else will ask ..'what happened to C?' that these people will shriek OMG and realise that they totally forgot about C.

    I could go on and on, or go and set the table for tonight but instead I think I will do a little sweeping in my garden.

    ReplyDelete

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