April 9, 2010

And Mother Takes All

Over the past week, I have been inundated with messages from disgruntled readers asking why I haven't updated my blog*.

Well, the answer to your questions (okay, question), is simple. It is school holidays. And in school holidays, Kerri The Blogger is challenged to a duel by Kerri The Mother (who has just obliterated Kerri The Wife, Kerri The Friend, Kerri The Worker, Kerri The Walker** and Kerri The Housekeeper) and is utterly defeated.It is true. Kerri The Mother has completely taken over. Every second of my day, every ounce of my strength, has been taken up with all things Children, and I feel that there is nothing left.

I try to make time for myself. I really do. I know that a Happy Mother makes for a Happy Child, that I am the backbone of my family, and that if I don't take care of myself, how can I possibly take care of my them? Well, these are terribly good theories and I am sure that they are very valid. But - just like the theories of rocket science are very valid - that doesn't mean they can be put into practice by just anyone.

My kids, you see, aren't all that good at entertaining themselves. The two year old can occupy herself for short periods of time (during which there is massive destruction of property, massive consumption of inedibles, and the occasional wee in her pants), but then she insists on sitting on my knee, whether I am attempting to compose an important email, or am standing at the stove cooking dinner.

My eight year old daughter doesn't require much attention, but this is due to a severe addiction to television, rather than any inner resources. She can park herself in front of the television for six to eight hours, which brings me some respite, but has unfortunate side effects, like headaches (for her), a dazed expression (her again), speaking in an American accent (ditto), and major parental guilt (that one would be me).

My ten year old son, on the other hand, is unable to occupy himself for more than... well... at all, really. I can take him out all day for exciting activities (like, you know, grocery shopping) and within ten seconds of walking in the door he will be 'bored' again.

Now, obviously I don't give in to his constant pleas to entertain him. But neither can I completely ignore them. It's hard to, when his face is pressed against mine, especially when I am attempting to go to the toilet.

So for now, my friends, Kerri The Blogger has had to take a back seat. Kerri The Mother has taken the throne.

She's dying to abdicate, though. And when school goes back, believe me, she will.

*Okay, so one reader. And admittedly, it wasn't an email, it was a telephone call. And no, it wasn't disgruntled, it was more of a general interest question. But what does it matter anyway? It's MY blog and I'll exaggerate if I want to!
**Who makes very rare appearances, so is fairly easy to quash


  1. I have missed your posts so much! Truly. And that's where you need to be. I look forward to regular Kerri transmission when school resumes. I say this as I type one handed. The other hand is holding Toddler on my lap as he sucks his thumb and snuggles with his blankie.

  2. Oh I hear you. Damn these school holidays!

  3. Oh yes, when will they be over again? Just looked at uniform price list for winter type stuff and almost passed out why do long sleeves cost an extra $10????? GAH!

  4. School holidays are so sucky. And why do they always seem to happen when I have a billion deadlines?
    I think my children may have actually started proceedings for legal emancipation from me. Grounds: I am the WORST mum ever cos they have to go to their loving grandparents who spoil them rotten. Poor darlings. :-)

  5. I wonder where people get those children who are able to entertain themselves. I've seen them, I know they exist...but sadly not in my house either. :(

  6. Hi I follow you on Twitter, but now I follow your blog too.

    A mum shared a little tip with me yesterday. She said that everytime her boy said he's bored, she said "Right let's learn your sight words" and pulled out the homework, and didn't back down. It only took a few times for him to start finding things to amuse himself. 10 year olds already know their sight words, but maybe spelling practice?

    You probably weren't looking for advice, but I couldn't resist sharing that little gem--thought it was brilliant.

    Have a lovely weekend.


  7. Oh that brings back memories. Now that my little ones are teenagers they don't want to spend any time with me :( Thought I'd love that - but truth is I miss them little. They were so cute. Enjoy the holidays while they are young - goes way too fast. The seem to be big and feral much longer than they are little, soft and sweet smelling. x

  8. Ah, yes. I understand. School holidays. Don't they just throw your whole routine outta whack?!

    As for your daughter getting an American accent - well, obviously she's just watching waaaaay too much tv. My boys are far more controlled.

    Oh wait. Sorry. I have to go. The 8yo wants some "cookies with milk" and oh, Lord - he just called me "Dude". What's up with that?


    *wanders over to switch off television*

  9. Ah, I, too, have children like these. And if they are not bored, they are beating the crap out of each other about something. As for telly - they called our new kitten Hannah, after Hannah Montana. Sigh ...

  10. I must say that I love Tropical Mum's suggestion for the boredom problem :)

  11. Sorry I haven't been in to comment lately but I've been tied up with school holidays and... well, apparently you know exactly how I feel. And have written about it eloquently. As always.

  12. I must be missing something, or not, because I thought you were doing a pretty bloody good job at posting regularly. N ow I'm even more impressed to learn that you can do it while at the same time leavin yr kids to sit around in front of the TV!

    (im joking)


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