I was discussing this phenomenon on Twitter with a couple of friends, Kate Hunter and Kylie Ladd. All three of us were deploring those people who lied online to gain sympathy and attention, and who made money under false pretences from the innocent and the gullible.
We chatted for a while and then Kate had to go as her prosthetic arm was aching. She had never mentioned it before (and, interestingly, it is not evident in her photos) but apparently her actual limb was amputed by a shark some time before. Very subtly, Kate mentioned that she needed a new prosthesis, and - without being at all pushy - that all donations were welcome, and that she accepted EFTPOS.
Well, I was flooded with sympathy for Kate, and considered sending her lots of money. However, I felt just slightly resentful, because it seemed hardly fair that Kate was whingeing about just having one limb amputated when I am completely limbless and am forced to type with my teeth. Obviously I have never brought this up before, because I really don't want to people feeling sorry for me. However, I figured that if we were finally being honest about our situations then it was time for me to be upfront about my own. And besides, my wheelchair desperately needs an update, so if people have spare cash to send my way, it would be very much appreciated. And I take bank cheques.
Kate didn't seem all that sympathetic. "Well did the shark gobble your entire family like it did mine?' she asked. "As well as your best friend? Who was PREGNANT?" Helpfully, she added that she accepted Paypal. That was good news.
Then Kylie chimed in. "At least you guys have your sight," she said (or something along those lines, I was still reeling from the news about the poor pregnant gobbled girl). "I'm blind and am tweeting from memory!" Wow. I had no idea. I mean, I've know Kylie for nearly two years now, and admittedly we haven't met in person, but I had no idea she was vision-impaired. "Please send cash," she continued.
Well that did it. Why should I continue to try to be brave when everyone else was just throwing out their sob stories and begging for money???
"Only blind?" I tweeted. "Lucky you. I'm blind AND deaf and am tweeting by sense of smell! And all donations gratefully accepted."
Kate, clearly wishing to change the topic (no doubt because it wasn't about her), decided to share her blog with us all. "It's called TheViewFromMyIronLung.blogspot.com," she tweeted. Oh please.
She wants sympathy? The woman doesn't know how lucky she is. I dream of living in an iron lung. My lung is made of cardboard, you know. It's highly flammable. I could burn down at any minute.
And if you want to send money my way, I'll be sure to forward you a receipt.
I just snorted coffee.
ReplyDeleteGold.
Thank you.
Sadly, I can identify all too well. Snicker.
xx
LOL. I had a run-in with good ole Munche online in Secondlife of all places. This random chick gave me a sob story about being homeless and needed cash to help get back on her feet! wtf?
ReplyDeleteI would have found this side splittingly funny and left a comment, but sadly I don't have a computer. (If you would like to help, I accept small unmarked bills wrapped in brown paper bag.)
ReplyDeleteI'm just glad you didn't mention the seven year old I kidnapped to write my tweets... being blind and leprotic, of course. It's so annoying when I try to type and a finger falls off and gets jammed in the keyboard. Anyway, she keeps complaining about being hungry. If anyone reading this thinks she should eat I have an account set up that you can contribnute to. In Switzerland.
ReplyDeleteFunny, yet sadly true in many situations.
ReplyDeleteWe all have a healthy dose of skepticism nowadays due to the number of unscrupulous scammers around.
Oh, and I no longer exist at all in this dimension, you are communicating with a hologram from my decimated world in the future.
Bahahahaha! Smacked my car into a pole this morning while talking to the kids, reversing at 60km/h while not looking in the rear view mirror and ignoring the screaming of the sensors. Send money please. Apparently around $700 worth........ Bank cheques accepted too :)
ReplyDeleteLOL I'm glad you turned this into a blog post. Reverse chronology of Twitter meant I happened to jump on right about the time Kylie mentioned the kidnapped child and I was, well, just a little confused :-) It makes slightly more sense when read forwards. Just slightly. Of course I had to wait until now to comment because I had to kidnap and train another child myself and that's hard to do when you're in a coma.
ReplyDeleteYou poor girls. No wonder you are writing books to make a little money. I had NO idea you were doing it so tough. I am sending you my Platinum Visa Card. Just send it back, when you've turned the corner, financially. No hurry sending Visa card back, I have a Platinum Amex card that I can use for my own meagre needs...
ReplyDeleteHello. This is Petal here. Mum can't come to the computer because she is pumping her heart through the cavity in her chest with her right hand and preparing a roast chicken with her left hand. She says, "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine unless my right hand cramps up whilst my left is still shoved up the chickens arse." We don't need money but if anyone has a spare heart, that would be really good. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed that article on Sunday, but I loved this blog post today.
ReplyDeleteBeyond gold {whatever that is}. x
Saturday. Not Sunday.
ReplyDeleteI'm blonde. Transfer all your fund IMMEDIATELY.
Kylie, Kate and Kerry - I have bought all of your books - consider it the little contribution that gives to you and to me :)
ReplyDeleteNot sure if that will help with all the illness and other issues though.
Fabo post Kerri.
Oh hi I just found your blog and that's just terrible about your current blind, limbless, penniless situation. I'm sending you $10,000 through PayPal for your cause. You will just have to pay me the $1000 fee to release the money from the account. lol!!!
ReplyDeleteHa! I snorted last night and double snorted tonite. You gals are hilarious. Just so you know, I am currently writing this from Nigeria where my uncle is dying and needs somewhere to park his millions so the Malicia doesn't kill the rest of the family. For parking this money we will pay you 10%. All you need to do is provide your bank account details, your passwords, your drivers licences and your first born children.
ReplyDeletewhilst i can't afford to send you cash, i HAVE named a comet after you, so you will be eternally remembered.
ReplyDeleteps. Annie, first born, really? make it second born and it's a deal … you've always wanted a precocious 7yo daughter whose current favourite colour is grey, right?
Thank YOU.. Not!
ReplyDeleteWill you come & change the sheets as the Depends I was hoping to do the trick while reading up to p4 of
"When My Husband Does The Dishes.." ( bank cheque)made out in MY name, not my hub as well, to the tune
of $ x your annual bill at Coles WBJ acceptable for that
P
L
U
G
Suddenly overflowed when I read this.
Not only that I need to have the nebuliser from laughing too much my asthma was triggered...
But, on the other hand... You three K-girls are all beiginng to sound Monty Python-esque..
Um Great Post! Now I know what this tweets were about x
Spelling is crap. Using iPad .. First world problem. Please send more money.. Or a typist. X
ReplyDeleteAh - so THAT's what those tweets were about. Very entertaining.
ReplyDeleteThank you Kerri for sharing our plight. Until those bastards at Australian Story start returning my calls I shall have to rely on blogs such as this. Mine has a very limited following. Iron lungs are hard to swallow for some people.
ReplyDeleteI lost my mind some time back. And my car. I'm open to help on both fronts. Moreso the car thought, that'd be so much more helpful than a mind don't you think?
ReplyDeleteI don't think picking on people's genuine misfortune is at all funny. I find it very difficult to go out in public, what with the encephalitis, unlceritis and elephantitis - so tired of people staring at me, must be my new hair cut. Anyways, I obviously have serious health issues - please send money for multiple medical procedures, which can only be conducted in Tahiti... need a minimum of @1 million (Australian, not Zimbawian, though all help gratefully accepted)
ReplyDeleteI have a crippled social life. Send money for babysitters and a nice dinner.
ReplyDeleteLove & stuff
Mrs M
I haved it on good authority that blindness, necrotic limbs and psychiatric problems of your own or any other family member can be soothed with a good strong cup of tea, some golden brown toast and the love and attention of a zhu zhu pet. Oh, and copious amounts of other people's money.
ReplyDeleteKerrie,
ReplyDeleteI feel so sad for you - I am literally sitting here crying and wondering how on earth you cope. You need a few "friends" to send us a link to your pay pal site; we all know you are too proud to ask on your own behalf. I would set one up for you but I am flat out on this life support machine at the moment
bahahahaha
Brilliant Kerri. Really funny. Sadly, I would find this a whole lot funnier if I hadn't fallen victim to someone with this condition. She had done it before on Livejournal and continues to do it today on a well known blog. When a few of us realised she was a scammer and tried to let the blog owner know we were vilified and driven out. So whilst this is hilarious, the damage that people with this condition do is not.
ReplyDeleteLike Anon above I to fell victim to someone who has done this and continues to this day to prey on caring people. Each week she gives a soap opera account of the next instalment of her life. Each one designed to paint a picture of her ever increasingly dramatic life.
ReplyDeleteThere is no denying that she has a real talent for creative writing it is just so sad that she does not use this talent to earn her own money. But enough negative stuff.
Tea and toast for all!!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeletei've got tears of laughter.
ReplyDeleteKerri, I may not have any of the conditions that you and many of your poor poor readers seem to have, but could you send me some money for a new laptop as I spat my coffee all over mine and now it won't work!!
ReplyDeleteIt is worth posting a link to the original article Kerri (even though your version is much better)
ReplyDeleteit might help people recognise the signs of a scammer and they might not get sucked in as easily.
http://www.theage.com.au/technology/technology-news/mnchausen-by-internet-the-sick-world-of-the-internet-fakers-20110419-1dm9l.html
Kerrie,
ReplyDeleteI feel so sad for you - I am literally sitting here crying and wondering how on earth you cope. You need a few "friends" to send us a link to your pay pal site; we all know you are too proud to ask on your own behalf. I would set one up for you but I am flat out on this life support machine at the moment
bahahahaha
I have a crippled social life. Send money for babysitters and a nice dinner.
ReplyDeleteLove & stuff
Mrs M
Hello. This is Petal here. Mum can't come to the computer because she is pumping her heart through the cavity in her chest with her right hand and preparing a roast chicken with her left hand. She says, "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine unless my right hand cramps up whilst my left is still shoved up the chickens arse." We don't need money but if anyone has a spare heart, that would be really good. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteLOL I'm glad you turned this into a blog post. Reverse chronology of Twitter meant I happened to jump on right about the time Kylie mentioned the kidnapped child and I was, well, just a little confused :-) It makes slightly more sense when read forwards. Just slightly. Of course I had to wait until now to comment because I had to kidnap and train another child myself and that's hard to do when you're in a coma.
ReplyDeleteLOL. I had a run-in with good ole Munche online in Secondlife of all places. This random chick gave me a sob story about being homeless and needed cash to help get back on her feet! wtf?
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog. So far all the posts have made me chuckle. So sorry to hear about your cardboard lung. True story a friend of mine contracted flesh easting disease last May. No joke really. He lost both legs and one arm and the fingertips of the remaining arm but he survived. He was a runner. Very sad I know but that's not the real point of my comment. The guy is happier now than every before. What really pisses me off is that he entered and ran (well sort of with a walker) a couple weeks ago a 5k. He blogs too. Does some motivational speaking which brings the toughest person to tears. Now I feel like I need to do a 5 k at least as I have all my limbs...Damn you Bryan.
ReplyDeleteBabe I would love to help you but I am dead : )
ReplyDeleteBest. Comment. EVER. xxx
ReplyDeleteI have no nipples! okay u win! LOL
ReplyDeleteWhat again?
ReplyDeleteFlesh eating bacteria got you as well???
Helen, Danya and Bill are good friends of mine. It stuns me that people can be so cruel as to make fun of their situation. I've lost a sister to a terrible illness and god forbid you ever know the pain of what that is like. I will not tolerate comments like this on my blog. End of story.
ReplyDeleteis it true you can still shop on ebay and etsy for zhu zhu pets when you are dead?
ReplyDeleteHelen, it amazes me that some people have nothing more fulfilling to do than prey on the misfortune of others. Sad
ReplyDeleteKerri, as always you crack me up xx