When I started writing, I used to fantasize about being interviewed in the media. It seemed like an incredibly glamorous thing to do. Sometimes I would actually interview myself at home, just chat to myself in my kitchen, ask myself questions whilst I was chopping up veggies or washing the dishes. I always asked myself really interesting questions.
Now that I've released two books, I have done quite a few interviews, and let me tell you - it is pretty glamorous. There is nothing that makes you feel quite as important as having a radio or newspaper journo focus fully on you for a period of time. Of course, once the interview is over you just go back to being alone in the kitchen chopping veggies and washing the dishes, but it really is fun while it lasts.
It's amazing when a dream you have finally comes true. For me, publishing books and being interviewed and giving talks and meeting people who have actually read my books is totally a dream come true. I still pinch myself, every single day, that this has happened to me. I can't believe it. I often feel like I am living in a parallel universe as Writer Kerri, and that Other Kerri is still plodding along somewhere in the real world, doing work she doesn't enjoy, feeling pretty ordinary about herself, and being sure she will never amount to anything.
Still, this isn't the first time a dream has come true for me. The first time was way back in 1984, when I won a leading role in a television mini-series. I was a little Jewish girl from the suburbs, and a pretty crap actress at that, and the whole thing was absolutely unbelievable. I spent the entire three months of the shoot pinching myself (and the next three years trying to lose the 12 kilos I gained on set, but that's another story).
The next time it happened was in 1999, when I gave birth to my first child. I held that slippery little boy in my arms, and I could not comprehend that something so magical, so impossibly wonderful, had happened to me. Nearly thirteen years later, I look at my three kids daily and feel exactly the same thing.
And then the most recent time it happened was last Christmas in LA, when I met Simon Baker, and you all know how that turned out.
But there are many dreams that didn't come true. Josh Goldenbum never loved me, despite me loving him passionately from afar for three whole years of my life. I never grew big breasts, despite having fantasized about having them for years before puberty. I never won an Oscar, and I think it's probably too late now. And I didn't actually have sex with Simon Baker, which was more than a little disappointing.
Still, magic can happen in life, and dreams really can come true. But I guess if all of them did, then it wouldn't be as magical.
So what about you? Have any dreams come true for you?
Thank you for this. My dreams came true when I published my first book in 2005, and again with my first novel in 2009. (Oh yeah, and got married and had kids, in case any of my family are reading this). It's funny how disproportionate the proportion of time spent struggling/dreaming hoping to time spent actually enjoying your success is though- about 120 million to 1, in my case.
ReplyDeleteToday I can't write because I have to take my MIL to an appointment and then look at nursing homes for her. The very idea has made me grumpy all morning, but you know what? While I'm waiting at the doctors and inspecting dementia specific units and making sure she has her undies on and not in her handbag I'm going to also try and enjoy where I am in my writing life- the proud author of 4 books so far, 2 more on the way, a literay award shortlisting and royalties coming in. I NEVER would have dared hope for so much 10 years ago. Thansk for the reminder to stop and enjoy it. xxxxxxxxxxxx
Amazing! This is 2 nights in a row in which you spoke about something that rang true for me.
ReplyDeleteI could tell you about how my dream of having my writing actually be read reached its peak in the mid to late 1980's when I was being published here in the US and in the UK - and being read almost all over the world - you would be able to identify with that dream ... but ...
... the dream that even topped that had it's roots as far back as 1964! That was the year that I first played in a pit orchestra in junior high school. I was the strange one who would go to a Broadway musical and watch the conductor in the pit as much as any actor onstage.
When I was in college (university) I started playing in the pit of a Community Theater group in the town in which I attended college. Still, I imagined myself as the musical director/conductor. I would listen to show music in my car, and conduct! (Yes, I got many strange looks!)
I got married and moved to my current home, and one day my wife and I attended a Community Theater production and I commented that the piano/violin they called their orchestra was a poor substitute for a proper band, and found myself talking with one of the group's officers after the show. I may have slightly misrepresented myself as an experienced musical director. (shhh - it's our secret, okay?)
Months later I got a call from the president of the group asking if I would be interested in the position. I agreed, and for the next dozen years realized my dream of conducting in a show pit. And to make it better, both of my children - excellent musicians in their own right - played with me for many of those years. (I did feel like a total fraud for a while - especially when we received the music for that first show and my daughter had a look and exclaimed, "I think you bit off more than we can chew!" (We pulled it off famously though, I'll have you know!)
Since then I have musical directed/conducted many shows for many organizations, including (nationally known) St. John's University!
Ooops - sorry, I got carried away ... this is your blog after all. But that was my dream. :-)
My dream was to meet you. Okay, so not *you* in particular but someone like you. Okay, so not really someone like you, exactly, but well, meeting you definitely was a dream-like experience - and not just because I was drunk (was I drunk?) but because you are dreamy. Fact.
ReplyDeleteLove your work, Kerri. May you go from success to success and may you keep on dreaming so those dreams can come true.
Ah Kerri - I am reading your Little Book of Anxiety at the moment and can I say, it is making my own attempts at anxiety seem very garden variety ... so as a complete aside - thank you for that!!
ReplyDeleteAs for dreams. Well right now I am living a dream that I honestly never thought possible. All I have ever wanted from life is money in the bank, time to spend with the people I love (in a non-distracted fashion) and a lack of stress in my life. 12 months ago I was on the hamster wheel and so far away from these things that they may as well have been the moon.
Of course it's been a long and hard journey from there to here ... but now that I am here, I honestly pinch myself every single day :)
Sometimes the timing of your posts makes me feel like our paths were meant to cross. Today has been a shitty and confusing one for me. Reading your post was like sticking my head up through the clouds and breathing the fresh air again. Once again, Kerri Sackville, you inspire me. xo
ReplyDeleteI just want to let you know how happy I am for you.My life has been really tough lately with mum so sick and my daughter being, well, a Teen!I actually feel your joy jumping out at me and it makes me feel really good.A feeling I havent felt in my own life lately.
ReplyDeleteThey say smile and the world smiles with you and that is so true in this case.You bring a big smile to my heart reading your words of happiness and how grateful and appreciative you are.What a beautiful quality that is you have.
Thankyou for sharing your joy and in so doing ,spreading your joy. xx
Not only did I love this post, but I adored the comments as well. They all are so inspiring and give hope to those of us who are in the trenches trying to graft away at a dream to keep on going x
ReplyDeleteSuch a joyous post. I'm very glad you are following and living your dream. Nothing more satisfying. I'm still following mine - haven't quite caught it yet, but I'm close. I smell it :)
ReplyDeleteStill waiting for the YTT call up ... I'd settle for a studio audience ticket ...
ReplyDeleteI have my nearest and dearest despite a few scrapes. I am finding my tribe. I have a handful of answers to a few of my big questions and I have the refreshing and renewed faith, from your radiant example, of the darling late bloomer who finally enjoys what she has earned. Huge love to you xxx
ReplyDeleteHey Kerri, just discovered your blog through Sydney Writers' Centre, it's wonderful to read about your dreams coming true, and your humility about it actually happening to you! I look forward to reading one of books, and as a blogger and aspiring writer, catching one of your seminars when I am back in Australia one day.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful post Kerri. I love your blog and your books and it is so inspiring to see someone on a successful journey. You inspired me to take the jump and I am just starting out, but one day hope that I too can call myself a published author and be interviewed by someone else other than my kids!
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