It's official. My daughter has outgrown me.
I honestly didn't expect it to happen so soon; after all, my daughter is only three. But Boo has obviously found her independence, and she is very clear that my role in her life has been considerably downgraded.
For a start, my daughter is no longer interested in lengthy embraces. "Enough cuddle time Mum!" she will pronounce sternly after seven or eight seconds, leaving me spurned and empty and yearning for more. Or a firm "No thanks, not now, I'm watching Spongeboy," when I offer to play Lego, which is really rather disheartening, as Lego is not at all fun alone.
What's more, Boo she has begun to deny my deep feelings for her. "You don't love me!" she'll yell when I do something to disappoint her, such as insist she has a bath or get into the car. And "You HATE ME!!!!" she'll howl when I do something really cruel, like ask her (very nicely, really) to stop scribbling on the couch.
Thankfully, though, she still retains some compassion. "Hug Mummy!" Boo will sing at random moments, when my arms are full of groceries, or she's sitting on the toilet. And I do it. I hug her, because I never knock back an opportunity, and because there's no way I can deal with another accusation of Not Loving Me.
But despite my unquestioning acquiesence to all of Boo's hug requests, god forbid I offer love at a time when it is not convenient for her. "Go way Mum" she'll tell me, if she's not in the mood. "No kiss! I wipe it all off !" It's not fair, I tell her, but she doesn't listen. Spongebob is on, and she has some scribbling to do on the couch.
At the end of the day, though, Boo is three, and she's old enough to make up her own mind. My role as her mother is to let her go, and respect the distance she has put between us.
When she's awake, that is. When she's asleep, well, that's a different story.
Have you ever kissed a sleeping child? BLISS.
God, that would break my heart! At the moment my two munchkins fight over cuddles from me. They hate sharing me, and want my lap all to themselves. Sounds like I shout quit complaining and make the most of it!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the hugs whenever or should I say wherever, because as they get older it's not COOL to hug or ever be nice to Mum.....but they come round and love you forever, hugs at anytime.
ReplyDeleteKerri - your getting a sneak peek of Boo as a teenager... so times that by a 1000... and you are in for some mighty fine times!
ReplyDelete:-) all said with love of course.
I love kissing my sleeping nearly-6-year-old. When he's asleep he stretches and moves around just as he did as a newborn. The teenagers have a lock on their room to prevent me from doing same to them!
ReplyDeleteAll aspects of sleeping children are sublime. It is the first rule you learn as a mother.
ReplyDeleteI remember when mine started that! "I wipe it off" :-(
ReplyDeleteGreat post as always Kerri xo
It is so sad when your last born starts to push you away. I remember when my boy did it, I was devastated. I kept trying to get him back, but in the end he said to me "mum u know that saying, if you love something set it free, if it comes back it's yours ... That's what you need to do". That kid is wise beyond his years. He needed some time on his own - now he's back and as loving as he ever was as a little boy. Kids. They break your heart and make it sing all in a matter of seconds. xx
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing in this world...NOTHING...as beautiful as a sleeping child. Even this morning, after spending 3 pre-dawn hours trying to get my little energiser back to sleep, once his eyes were shut and his chubby little sausage fingers closed around his blanket, I thought it was the cutest thing I've ever seen. And follow that by checking in on his big sister - so gorgeous. Those seconds squinting in the darkness are some of the most precious in life.
ReplyDeleteBoo is just testing the limits. She needs to know how far she can push you, so she can store the knowledge away until she is a teenager and really torment you then.
ReplyDeletePS. Sorry, you actually OFFERED to play Lego? It takes a SWAT team to make me do that.
Awww! No, you're right, nothing sweeter than a sleeping child.
ReplyDeleteJack has gone the opposite and is hell bent on giving me at least 20 consecutive kisses in a row when I leave him at kindy. It's bordering on creepy. No doubt I'll be wishing one day he wants to come into the same room as me. xx
Being a parent = heart broken & heart full...several times daily.
ReplyDeleteBeing a mummy = heart sings, then flops, then sings again
Being a child = I want you to hug me, I don't want you to kiss me, I want you to....
LIFE as a PARENT...even at my age with my kids...as above..DD is 39, DS is 32. One makes heart sing, other flop.
AT the MOMENT!!
100% agree with Kylie on the Lego..and in fact any games... except on ipad..tee hee. XX
ReplyDeleteWhen I steal a kiss from 4 year old Boy-Who-Asks-Questions while he's asleep, he still wipes his face without waking! It's a natural compulsion he has - to wipe away my kiss - even in the deepest of sleeps. Little Fairy is yet to look for some space so I'm smothering while I can.
ReplyDeletePoor Kerri :( I've never had the wiping off thing which I'm happy about. Mr10 only won't let me near him in public, at home he's all over me (and way too big for my lap, I must say!!). Miss4 would sit on me all day happily too. Except for breaks for dancing and drawing.
ReplyDeleteMiss2 is the one who occasionally gives the "No hugs for you!" out. But other times she'll want to sit and cuddle for hours too. As long as she can play the iPad at the same time. In fact, if DS or DD come for a cuddle, Miss2 will come running across the room yelling "Nooo! MY mummy!!". Bit creepy really.
Children are 100% better when they are asleep, don't you think? Quiet. Peaceful. Not demanding food or drinks. And endlessly kissable.
ReplyDeleteChildren can be so cruel at times! They know how much their parents adore them. My eldest (4) has started not telling me anything, yesterday when I asked what she did at kindy she said: "Nothing". So I pushed, I almost grovelled: "Please tell Mummy, please". She replied "Pop-offs".
ReplyDeleteI am soaking in as much cuddling baby time as I can with my third. She is 8months old and man, she gets A LOT of cuddles.
i can sympathise Kerri,
ReplyDeleteMy Miss 3.5 has taken to yelling "You're not my mummy anymore" defiantely when i do horrendous things like tell her to have a bath.
She balances it out with sweet bedtime snuggles & kisses (more at the moment 'cause her No 1 choice - Daddy - is away). But always on her terms.
But at least i still i have my super affectionate Mr almost 2 - who i suspect would climb back in my womb if he could.
I suspect you and i should start stockpiling gin in preparation for our girls' teenage years.
that's so lovely and true. the first time they say 'HATE' leaves you like broken. as for the hugs, i am spoiled by a 5yo, but have to intervene sometimes when he randomly hugs OTHER mums, teachers, teacher-aids or, god forbid, other children in prep! (i think it's awesome, stupid rules)
ReplyDeleteI may have spent quite some time staring at my 4-year-old boys sleeping face last night in absolute awe. Love little Miss Boo 3 going on 13.
ReplyDeleteMichelle
I've never had the wiping off (yet) but now when his Dad picks him up, Mr 10 won't ask or agree to a kiss or a hug. Even though he will usually give my plenty beforehand, he says he gets teased if he hugs and kisses me when he says goodbye. It may be true, or it may just be that he wants to act all manly when he goes home with Daddy. Luckily Miss 8 still loves a kiss and cuddle even in front of her class and teachers. I know I've not got much more of that though...
ReplyDeleteBeing a parent = heart broken & heart full...several times daily.
ReplyDeleteBeing a mummy = heart sings, then flops, then sings again
Being a child = I want you to hug me, I don't want you to kiss me, I want you to....
LIFE as a PARENT...even at my age with my kids...as above..DD is 39, DS is 32. One makes heart sing, other flop.
AT the MOMENT!!
There is nothing in this world...NOTHING...as beautiful as a sleeping child. Even this morning, after spending 3 pre-dawn hours trying to get my little energiser back to sleep, once his eyes were shut and his chubby little sausage fingers closed around his blanket, I thought it was the cutest thing I've ever seen. And follow that by checking in on his big sister - so gorgeous. Those seconds squinting in the darkness are some of the most precious in life.
ReplyDeleteKerri - your getting a sneak peek of Boo as a teenager... so times that by a 1000... and you are in for some mighty fine times!
ReplyDelete:-) all said with love of course.
Enjoy the hugs whenever or should I say wherever, because as they get older it's not COOL to hug or ever be nice to Mum.....but they come round and love you forever, hugs at anytime.
ReplyDelete