tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post8531650868691209600..comments2023-10-08T22:15:45.041+11:00Comments on Life & Other Crises: The HurtedKerri Sackvillehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08404421856986720832noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-78070926066652688452014-03-27T16:36:35.853+11:002014-03-27T16:36:35.853+11:00That was brave of you. Really was.That was brave of you. Really was.Kerri Sackvillehttp://www.lifeandothercrises.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-80854567073601891122014-03-27T16:36:08.767+11:002014-03-27T16:36:08.767+11:00YES. Exactly xYES. Exactly xKerri Sackvillehttp://www.lifeandothercrises.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-10473914314136997342014-03-27T16:35:57.493+11:002014-03-27T16:35:57.493+11:00I love that way of thinking Leanne xI love that way of thinking Leanne xKerri Sackvillehttp://www.lifeandothercrises.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-40033631786826666032014-03-25T22:39:06.727+11:002014-03-25T22:39:06.727+11:00Glad others have similar battles - makes me feel l...Glad others have similar battles - makes me feel less weird about it! (and thanks for writing about it, Kerri)Helen Knoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-51379098585716760062014-03-25T14:23:56.448+11:002014-03-25T14:23:56.448+11:00I've found the easiest way for me to live with...I've found the easiest way for me to live with others around me is to acknowledge that the only person who can control my feelings is myself. If others hurt me it's almost like giving them a power over me - are they then also responsible for my joy too? What, if anything, do I control if that is the case? Yes, I can react to what someone says (thats the feeling, human side of me coming out!) but I can then choose the emotion I may/may not attach to it. Since I've started to think this way I feel so much more empowered. It's also helping me to be brave and explore why my buttons may have been pushed in the first place.Leanne Faulknernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-48564791848905958602014-03-25T10:18:09.279+11:002014-03-25T10:18:09.279+11:00I let it rumble around in my heart and soul. I am ...I let it rumble around in my heart and soul. I am like you though, no problems expressing my hurt to my family but friends are a different story. It is like your family has to love you but friends may not.Sam Stonehttp://samanthastone.com.au/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-2997004631839750622014-03-25T09:17:13.885+11:002014-03-25T09:17:13.885+11:00I was in a friendship a few years ago (very close)...I was in a friendship a few years ago (very close) however things were starting to unravel where it was never about anyone else except this person. <br />I received an email out of the blue asking if everything was ok as I seemed a bit 'off' towards her lately.<br />I responded to the email and proceeded to tell her EXACTLY what I thought. <br /><br />That is where the friendship ended. <br /><br />I feel hurt about what we had, however I don't regret telling her my thoughts. Obviously she didn't like it. <br /><br />I still think about her and it hurts but sometimes friendships evolve and life goes on.Mireillenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-76923438176562893922014-03-25T08:32:31.481+11:002014-03-25T08:32:31.481+11:00I know Robyn. Very hard to just 'get over'...I know Robyn. Very hard to just 'get over' things. You can forgive.... but hard to truly forget.Kerri Sackvillehttp://www.lifeandothercrises.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-61366714411925868082014-03-25T08:31:54.616+11:002014-03-25T08:31:54.616+11:00SUCH a challenge. Thanks for sharing all those tho...SUCH a challenge. Thanks for sharing all those thoughts, Helen. Totally get it.Kerri Sackvillehttp://www.lifeandothercrises.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-83315033782612076612014-03-25T08:31:52.210+11:002014-03-25T08:31:52.210+11:00You are spot on. I was an emotional eater for a lo...You are spot on. I was an emotional eater for a long time too. The weight will come off when you deal with the feelings. I'm sorry your husband didn't understand, but they often don't. No excuse, I know. But find someone who does and share with them. Sending love xxxKerri Sackvillehttp://www.lifeandothercrises.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-20765275394546336442014-03-25T08:31:51.081+11:002014-03-25T08:31:51.081+11:00YES! So glad you understand!!!YES! So glad you understand!!!Kerri Sackvillehttp://www.lifeandothercrises.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-14250986723963560052014-03-25T08:29:41.226+11:002014-03-25T08:29:41.226+11:00YES. Friend therapy. I do that ALL the time.YES. Friend therapy. I do that ALL the time.Kerri Sackvillehttp://www.lifeandothercrises.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-18829691254875658732014-03-25T08:29:27.572+11:002014-03-25T08:29:27.572+11:00Ah.... revenge....Ah.... revenge....Kerri Sackvillehttp://www.lifeandothercrises.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-43683626178894138472014-03-25T08:29:20.146+11:002014-03-25T08:29:20.146+11:00Ah.... revenge....Ah.... revenge....Kerri Sackvillehttp://www.lifeandothercrises.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-76533044954315322842014-03-25T08:29:07.328+11:002014-03-25T08:29:07.328+11:00Oh yes. Super productive. Like my fantasies.Oh yes. Super productive. Like my fantasies.Kerri Sackvillehttp://www.lifeandothercrises.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-39024019259709245952014-03-25T08:16:20.809+11:002014-03-25T08:16:20.809+11:00PS: Or better than simmering, I vent to good frien...PS: Or better than simmering, I vent to good friends behind said hurter's back... Might not reflect well on my character, but it's great therapy!Lee-Anne Walkernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-58656947205967445612014-03-25T08:10:52.482+11:002014-03-25T08:10:52.482+11:00I simmer too as I hate confrontation. I try to ris...I simmer too as I hate confrontation. I try to rise above it Buddhist-like with Zen serenity, but it's difficult if the hurt or irritation is profound. xxLee-Anne Walkernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-33823331540158190292014-03-25T07:11:47.214+11:002014-03-25T07:11:47.214+11:00I have been hurt many times, you just have to sigh...I have been hurt many times, you just have to sigh and get over it, but funny as much as you try it never seems to leave your mind.Robyn Buckleynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-70974185780587320612014-03-24T23:25:50.625+11:002014-03-24T23:25:50.625+11:00I just read this aloud to my husband who told me &...I just read this aloud to my husband who told me "enough already" which hurt my feelings and I didn't say anything.<br /><br />Because I eat my hurt. Hence the 28 extra kilos I'm dragging around hoping someone will notice my pain. <br /><br />I'll get around to losing the weight when I manage the hurt, I know. For now, I'll start by being kinder to myself and sharing the hurt as well as the smiles. <br /><br />And shoosh husband, I'm writing to Kerrie.<br /><br />Love,<br />Gabs xGabbie Smithnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-74200973368875623092014-03-24T23:20:01.761+11:002014-03-24T23:20:01.761+11:00I had a tantrum at a Christmas dinner last year - ...I had a tantrum at a Christmas dinner last year - while I was annoyed at the situation that made me crack, it wasn't the real issue and I kind of blew my chance to deal with the bigger picture matter in a calm, rational, adult way. I agree it's uncertainty about the right to feel hurt that fuels the fictional scenes and makes it so hard to deal with these things!Chelsea Sutherlandhttps://148percent.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-65216780160819684122014-03-24T22:19:37.146+11:002014-03-24T22:19:37.146+11:00I am not too bad with little hurts, it's the m...I am not too bad with little hurts, it's the more significant ones that are worse. They often don't fully register until some time after - maybe I'm fortunate but I find it rare for someone to be intentionally unkind (although I am currently having a horror run with women my mothers age and car parks - but that's another story) and definitely not people I'm close to. So it's more likely to be thoughtlessness, which either doesn't fully register with me at once (surely they didn't mean that?) or I excuse it for a range of reasons - ie. why spoil an otherwise pleasant event, maybe they had a bad day, etc, etc. But then these things can fester and impact relationships - and it is really difficult, I find, to address things post event - it seems out of context, it reflects badly on me that I harbour resentments and so on. I am working on being quicker at identifying negative emotions -I shy away from them because I don't like them - as I've been caught out a few times in the last and lost close friends due to events I hadn't healed from - in fact, hadn't recognised I needed to - until my former friends were well over them, and to them it felt like opening up old wounds. It's a challenge, isn't it?Helen Knoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-57659549702740371152014-03-24T20:48:19.365+11:002014-03-24T20:48:19.365+11:00I become super bitter and have dreams about them r...I become super bitter and have dreams about them ruining my life, or me ruining their life pre-emptively, or everything just getting ruined generally. Very, very useful and productive.Emilyhttp://emhawker.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-44305608149318259072014-03-24T20:35:49.079+11:002014-03-24T20:35:49.079+11:00Oh, I hold onto grudges for far too long. I still ...Oh, I hold onto grudges for far too long. I still remember the little shits that teased me in primary school and if I ever get a chance to get back at them, I will.Dorothyhttp://www.singularinsanity.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-31902658790282977522014-03-24T18:13:43.507+11:002014-03-24T18:13:43.507+11:00That's so hard. I guess if you know you're...That's so hard. I guess if you know you're going to be hurt even more by their response then you're right in protecting yourself by not expressing it.Kerri Sackvillehttp://www.lifeandothercrises.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8774807226689612975.post-69519430423692819012014-03-24T18:12:59.241+11:002014-03-24T18:12:59.241+11:00I once bumped into a friend who had really hurt me...I once bumped into a friend who had really hurt me. I had often thought of what I would say. I said nothing.Kerri Sackvillehttp://www.lifeandothercrises.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.com