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November 25, 2011

A Very Short Post About Sex

Tomorrow is Boo's birthday and we bought her a rocking horse. For two weeks now I've been asking The Architect to assemble it, as I want Boo to open a horse, and not bits of tail, legs and a head. So far, The Architect has ignored me, as he is wont to do.

This morning, as he left the house, I looked at him meaningfully. Boo was clinging to his leg, so I couldn't say it directly, but I needed to make myself understood.

"Tonight you have to... you know..." I said, and I mimed the action for riding a horse.

The Architect looked delighted. "Have sex?" he asked.

"NO!" I said. "You have to make the thing! You know! The thing that goes giddyup?" and again I mimed riding a horse.

He grinned. "Sex! You want to have sex tonight! Okay!"

I sighed. "NO!!! You have to put together the thing!" and I mimed riding a horse, together with slapping my own butt and yelling "Neigh!"

In his dreams
He reached over and slapped my butt too. "Sex it is!" he said.

Looks like I'll be putting the damn horse together myself.
at

24 comments:

  1. Kylie LNovember 25, 2011 at 1:29 PM

    PMSL!!! I am suddenly having a visual of you doing that dance move involving butt slapping that Beyone does in the "Single Ladies" video.

    Sadly, so is the Architect.

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  2. Lisa LinternNovember 25, 2011 at 1:34 PM

    Hilarious. I'm betting he comes home with a cowgirl's outfit for you.

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  3. TwitchyNovember 25, 2011 at 1:34 PM

    Yup- they just hear what they wanna hear... ;)

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  4. WadeNovember 25, 2011 at 1:35 PM

    Sounds like he was deliberately mis-understanding you. :-)

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  5. UnknownNovember 25, 2011 at 2:12 PM

    I'm with Wade... He understood - he was just on a fishing expedition to see if he was gonna get lucky!

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  6. Kerri SackvilleNovember 25, 2011 at 2:38 PM

    Oh lord.... I can see it now....

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  7. Kerri SackvilleNovember 25, 2011 at 2:38 PM

    That's exactly what I was trying to channel!

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  8. Cate PNovember 25, 2011 at 2:39 PM

    Here's hoping you don't get saddle sore, honey. Bet the Architect does though.

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  9. EricaNovember 25, 2011 at 2:41 PM

    *tears running down face* That is just about the funniest thing you have ever written, and you've written some damn hilarious stuff!

    So, got your spurs and your whip ready for tonight? *wink wink*

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  10. Library GirlNovember 25, 2011 at 3:01 PM

    LOL! What a funny bugger! The Architect sounds like he's a bit of a comedian too :)

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  11. MandyNovember 25, 2011 at 4:08 PM

    He might get it if he puts the horse together!

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  12. Mrs WoogNovember 25, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    He is like any other man I know. Giddyup Kerri xx

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  13. Jodi GibsonNovember 25, 2011 at 4:15 PM

    Too much visual information!

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  14. LaurenNovember 25, 2011 at 5:01 PM

    I know what I would be withholding until the rocking horse is assembled. Amazing how quickly these things can be done under such conditions.

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  15. NickyNovember 25, 2011 at 5:21 PM

    Now the whole locked jaw thing is making much more sense.

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  16. fender4evaNovember 25, 2011 at 5:57 PM

    Sex ? but aren't you married ?.......

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  17. Lisa LinternNovember 25, 2011 at 7:25 PM

    The door will fling open, and he will saunter in, in his chaps, to the tune of 'Rhinestone Cowboy'...

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  18. Alistair McKillopNovember 25, 2011 at 9:41 PM

    so if Boo was a boy (which she obviously isn't)  and we were talking about constructing a train set purchased for birthday, then there would be no problem - except you wouldn't be having sex either as Architect will be spending all night making sure the train signalling is working perfectly ...just saying...

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  19. Mum on the RunNovember 25, 2011 at 11:54 PM

    Yeee ha! ;-)

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  20. Kerri SackvilleNovember 28, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    Oh yes. The Architect loves trains....

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  21. Kerri SackvilleNovember 28, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    I didn't say we HAD sex. I said he was EXPECTING sex #bigdifference

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  22. Kerri SackvilleNovember 28, 2011 at 3:54 PM

    He SO is.

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  23. Kerri SackvilleNovember 28, 2011 at 3:54 PM

    Yi ha!

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  24. KerensawickiDecember 2, 2011 at 8:33 PM

    thanks for the laugh xx keren

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